July 23, 2009
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letting go and letting God.
i always keep forgetting people read this thing. from the outside listening in, i must sound like some sort of nut.. perhaps a peanut! or an almond will suffice.
moms going to florida for vacay tomorrow morning 9AM, which you betcha im looking forward to. this will mean that ill have the whole house to myself (somewhat) for an entire week. i'll have to take care of dad by having the rice cooked at all times, make sure he has meals other than hot dogs and ice cream, and organize things so that he can find what supplies he needs everyday. but aside from that, ill be queen of 912! Hooray! ill get to prance around in whatever i want, ignore any joy luck club house calls (with good reason!), and blast my ghetto playlist while singing and/or screeching on the top of my lungs to my hearts content. though having mom travel always stirs up a little emotion... esp atl. what will they talk about? how has time faired? is it really over? i really shouldn't ask those questions. the only thing i can do is pray. which reminds me that i need to go up to queens and take care of some business in the near future -- i dearly miss new york and grandmother. maybe an entry on that some other time.anh minh's first home is finally going into closing tomorrow too. sooo happy about that. for them, so that their family can finally have a piece of the american dream, and for me not having to run around dealing with realtors, title companies, pest control and suntrust anymore. the past 6 months have been a complete whirlwind. although.. im not sure how pleasant their first few months are going to be. theres talk that huy's family may join and move in as well... which may not be dandy or ideal at this point. how can all those people fit into one house? lets hope the paperwork unfolds quickly.
life has been grand lately. since ive returned to this nest, ive been able to reconnect with the sisters and we've been having a Blast (with a capital B).. in addition to everyone else i've lost touch with over the years. feels like ive been everywhere doing everything under the sun. its exciting that i've opened the door for new relationships and have started to meet new people - its absolutely wonderful. i can't even describe the adventure and butterflies. God, the butterflies!
but on the flip side, im really stressed out like no other. i think the butterflies are trapped in my belly. haha. theres so much responsibility and accountability to own up to. things on the homefront aren't really looking up. i just don't know what to do to help sometimes. and then, i find myself constantly probing at reason and plus, those dormant thoughts have decided to break loose and run rampant all the sudden! looking back, i have never really felt this way before... and i guess to be completely honest, im just scared. real scared *sigh*
PS. i am really surprised that i still remember how this screen name is spelled. lol
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